The Adventures of Agent B
Honey Henson woke up one sunny morning in her new bedroom in the United States. Her walls were painted a bright, shocking yellow, and since she had forgotten to close her shades, the sunlight streamed in the room and bounced off the walls. Honey sat up in bed, rubbed her eyes, and looked at the ball of fluff sitting at the bottom of her bed. "Good morning, Bonnie," she said brightly to her cat. "Boy, it's sunny today, isn't it?" Bonnie turned her big blue eyes on Honey and blinked. Honey smiled. "Bonnie, you just keep getting cuter. I don't know how it's possible." Honey tossed back her covers, slid out of bed, and stretched. Bonnie jumped to the floor with a soft flump and walked downstairs with her owner. "Hi, Mum!" said Honey to her mother, who was distinctly drowsy-looking this morning. Mrs. Henson looked at her daughter. "You're such a morning person, Honey. You take after your father that way." Honey smiled and bounced around her kitchen, looking for something to eat for breakfast. She picked up a banana out of the fruit bowl and headed toward the door. "Well, Mum, I'm off to Phineas and Ferb's. See ya!" "Bye, dear," said her mother, rubbing her eyes and looking down at Bonnie. "Oh, Bonnie. If only I —" She broke off: Bonnie wasn't in the room anymore. "Hey, where's Bonnie?" Bonnie had pushed her way through the cat door and was now taking off towards a rose bush in the backyard. She examined it, then pulled on a branch. A hole in the ground opened up and she slid down the tube that followed. She took off pretty fast because of her fur, but she had time to wave to Agent P, a platypus who lived nearby, and Agent P, a chihuahua who also lived nearby. It wasn't confusing in the least; Perry, the platypus, was in Major Monogram's division, and Pinky, the chihuahua, was in Admiral Acronym's division. Bonnie was in neither, she was in an entirely different division, Inspector Initials's. Bonnie finished sliding down her tube and landed on a navy blue throw pillow. She got up, dusted herself off, and put on her fedora, which was hanging on a coat hanger nearby. It, like the throw pillow, was navy blue with a silver stripe round the middle. Bonnie surveyed the lair for a minute. She was reasonably early; Inspector Initials hadn't appeared on the monitor yet. Bonnie's lair was a lot smaller than the average lair, but no one could say that it wasn't pretty. The walls were a rich navy and so were the carpets. A silver chandelier was slowly revolving in the ceiling, casting little flecks of silver light all over the place. Bonnie was just fixing the parking job on her hovercraft when a voice made her jump. "Ah, there you are, Agent B," said a woman on a large-screen TV. She had short gray hair and a stern air about her. Inspector Initials waited until Bonnie had settled herself into her navy blue chair in front of the monitor before continuing. "I'm sorry to say that Professor Loofenshmotz is at it again. We've been monitoring her Zbay activity and noticed that she outbid everyone else for a projector, a projection screen, and numerous lawn chairs — about one thousand. However, she did lose this antique velvet rope to me, I outbid her." She smiled, then immediately became serious again. "Find out what she's up to and put a stop to it." Bonnie lifted one fluffy brown paw and saluted. Leaping into her hovercraft, she zoomed through a tunnel and out the other side. The monitor on her hovercraft came to life; Inspector Initials was there. "By the way, Agent B, invisibility buttons have been installed on every agent's hovercrafts after Agent E got herself spotted, poor elephant. Nearly revealed us to the world. It is recommended that you use this button. Good luck, Agent B." Bonnie nodded and looked on her dashboard. Reading the buttons in her mind, she tried to locate the invisibility button. Speed boost... cup holders... magnet... internet... send home... invisibility! She went to push the button until she realized there was no button there. Inspector Initials reappeared on her screen. "Oh, did I mention the buttons are invisible?" She winked and disappeared. Bonnie looked down at the buttons. Putting her paw in what she hoped was the right place, she pushed as hard as she could. She felt the button give way and saw herself disappear — or rather, she didn't see herself disappear. Bonnie flew through the air until she reached a tall, chartreuse building. Hopping out of the hovercraft, she pushed the "send home" button and it zoomed away. Bonnie looked up at the building, trying to think of some innovative and clever way to climb it. Something Perry would do. Perry the Platypus was one of the most respectable and hard-working agents in the agency. Thinking hard, she noticed for the first time that the walls of the building were covered in carpet. Bonnie stuck out her claws and clung to the side of the building. This proved to be very effective and she hoped that the agency had seen her bright idea. She paused near a window and looked in. She saw a thin, blonde woman in a blue and white dress unpacking several boxes. Bonnie pulled a paw off the building and almost went for the window, pausing to put earplugs in her ears. Dragging a claw in a perfect circle and wincing slightly at the sound, she squeezed in and edged along the walls until a loud noise made her jump. A frilly, pink dress slid over Bonnie, binding her arms to her sides. "Like it?" asked Loofenshmotz. "It used to be mine, but I left the dryer on, like, way too long, so I thought I could use it in a trap against you!" She smiled. "So I think I know why you're here," she continued. "I know you and your agency track my Zbay activity; that site reveals way too much information, if you ask me. Initials probably told you that I bid on a projector, projection screen, a thousand lawn chairs, and an antique velvet rope, and won them all — except for that velvet rope, which was a shame, but which I bought off Nile.com for a way cheaper price that was being offered. "So now I'm really low on money after buying all that, and now I have no money left to buy cosmetics, which is bad, because I always look bad without makeup on. So I'm going to host a movie night here and charge expensive prices to get in! "But this isn't just any ordinary movie, no. This is a movie that everyone's gone crazy over lately: Eclipse. And I loved it too, because those books are wicked long. I'll be showing all four Twilight movies here! "Do you see how brilliant this plan is, Bonnie the Ragdoll?" Bonnie blinked. "No? Okay. Notice how I said all four Twilight movies? They haven't released the last one yet! But I obtained a copy and I'll be showing it here for the insanely low price of fifty dollars. Clever, right?" she leered at Bonnie. "And not even you can stop me from showing this movie!" Loofenshmotz walked into the other room. "Phew, giving a speech like that always makes me thirsty. You want something to drink?" she called from her kitchen. "Let's see, what do we have in here? Dr. Pepper, root beer, Arnold Palmer..." While Loofenshmotz rattled off the contents of her fridge, Bonnie began tearing the dress with her claws. She couldn't move them very quickly, but Professor Loofenshmotz had a lot to drink in her fridge, and by the time she realized that Bonnie probably didn't want something to drink, she had walked back into her sitting room to find the dress in shreds on the floor and Bonnie sitting there nonchalantly. Loofenshmortz clapped a hand to her forehead when she saw Bonnie. "I always forget you have claws!" she said. In her exasperation, she had knocked the movies onto the floor. The cases broke open and the discs flew out. Bonnie leapt onto them and began to scratch them so that they would be unusable. Leaping off the top floor and into her hovercraft, Bonnie winked at Loofenshmotz, who cried, "Curse you, Bonnie the Ragdoll!" Bonnie flew back to her backyard and sent the hovercraft back to her lair. Pushing in the cat door and hiding her fedora in its special hiding spot in the sitting room, she padded her way inside simultaneously with Honey, who had returned from Phineas and Ferb's house. Honey bent down to stroke her cat. "So how was your day, Bonnie?" Bonnie blinked. Category:Fanon Works Category:Che's Articles